It doesn’t matter whether you’re a parent, a social worker, a volunteer or a teacher everyone has or has had the same issue. So what do you do? For starters you can start using the 5 tips I have below. They’ve helped me connect to thousands of youth and I know they can help you build meaningful relationships with the young people in your life.
1. Start with why.
Why are you volunteering? Why did you take this job? Why do you care? Why should I trust you? Why? These are the questions going through the youth’s mind, probably a good idea to address them upfront. But say what you mean and mean what you say. DON’T oversell it and DON’T hide your heart (passion).
2. Open up.
Maybe you lived a pretty privileged life free from any set backs or disappointments and if so that’s awesome. For must of us we’ve had an experience or encounter that has hurt us, touched us, or inspired us. When young people see that you aren’t afraid to open up about your experiences and pain points they will be more willing to open up also. *WARNING* It is better to be a leaky faucet than a water fall.
3.Read the file, but don’t mentor the file.
Read the file to be aware and gain some perspective, but as many of you know the file is only a part of the story and usually the bad part. Don’t treat your youth as cases treat them as people and as children regardless of their size.
4.Build.
Brick walls are built one brick at a time and help create meaningful and significant structures. Invest the time to build a relationship that is meaningful, significant, and genuine.
5.Ask the questions that matter.
If you want to have an impact, you’ll have to get past the close ended questions that lack depth or a real attempt to make a connection. It will take consistency and time but it’s worth it.
6.Listen & then Listen again to what’s not being said.
Watch for non verbal clues. Things like: a trembling lip, constant pacing, constantly looking away, long pauses. I could go on but the point is for you to listen to what you’re being told and watch for what’s not being said. The toughest things are often the most difficult to discuss with someone that you aren’t sure if they really care. As a caring figure it’s your job to peal back the layers of this onion which will cause some tears.
Think & live abundantly,
Chadwick S.
p.s. This is not the only way to engage youth, but it’s what works for me. Don’t take it as a strict set of rules but more of a canvas to paint with your own personality but it works.
